Apple has announced the winners of its inaugural Apple Music Awards – and all in the company’s typical self-satisfied style.
Apple has named Billie Eilish as its ‘Global Artist of the Year’, explaining that its “editorial team of experts and tastemakers” picked out Eilish, among others, as winners across several categories.
The experts chose winners “who have true passion for their craft, who boldly defy conventions in the category and who embody a sense of humanity, where listeners are drawn as much to who they are as to their music”.
Cringing yet? Yes, us too.
Apple also awarded Eilish with ‘Album of the Year’ for When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? and gave ‘Songwriter of the Year’ to Eilish and brother Finneas. Way to spread the awards all round, Apple.
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Lizzo picked up ‘Breakthrough Artist of the Year’ while ‘Song of the Year’ went to Old Town Road by Lil Nas X.
Vice president of Apple Music and International Content Oliver Schusser said, “The musically diverse group of inaugural winners have sparked deep social conversation, influenced culture and inspired our customers around the world. We couldn’t be more excited to celebrate them.”
“Deep social conversation”? If you say so, Oliver.
One of the most Apple sections of the press release saw the tech giant embark on an articulate but deeply uninteresting explanation of how the physical awards were made.
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If you can bear to read it, this is what was said:
“Apple has designed a series of awards to celebrate the extraordinary craftsmanship integral to creating music. Each award features Apple’s custom silicon wafer suspended between a polished sheet of glass and a machined and anodised aluminium body. The wafers start as a perfect 12-inch disc of silicon with nanometer level flatness. Copper layers are deposited and patterned by ultraviolet lithography to create connections between billions of transistors. The result of this multi-month process, before it is sliced into hundreds of individual chips, is stunning and distinctive. In a symbolic gesture, the same chips which power the devices that put the world’s music at your fingertips sit at the very heart of the Apple Music Awards”.