Sony SZ Laptops Seduce Us

Gordon has a new honey to lust over...

It has been a while since I was so visually impressed with a device that I was forced into renaming it, but those times are back thanks to a stunning new laptop line.


Meet Sony’s SZ series, hitherto known as Lara, the foxiest thing this side of a Brazilian string bikini contest. Now Sony may not be in my good books right now, but it has certainly produced a stunner in Lara.

Slender (300 x 220 x 25mm), light (1.69Kg) and devilishly sexy in carbon fibre, she cuts an impressive figure. She is not vapid beauty either, inside her lustful loins is an Intel Core Duo processor (available up to a T2500) and a capacious 120GB hard drive. Like most beauties, Lara likes to tease you by playing games too courtesy of her nVidia GeForce Go 7400 graphics card, though if she is proving too feisty this can be swapped at any time to the Intel integrated graphics providing Lara with the extra stamina to make you sweat for seven hours.


Naturally, you’ll want everyone to see you with Lara and she’s not camera shy thanks to an integrated webcam at the top of the screen. The display in itself is supermodel thin, sporting a 13.3in WXGA screen coated in designer X-black shades. Being a popular girl Lara has all sorts of ways to communicate with her lustful public: WiFi, Bluetooth and Ethernet being the show stealers.

Should you land a hottie like Lara you’ll probably be worried that someone will want to steal her away from you. Thankfully Lara shows incredible dedication to her owner, keeping her lips sealed via biometric fingerprint security and she can handle being roughed up due to her IBM-esque hard drive technology which can detect movement and lift the drive head off the disk if dropped. Given her high class stature, you may be expecting Lara to be one pricey broad? Well, while it isn’t true that her ‘Love Don’t Cost A Thing’ you can take her home from just £1,099 and she’ll be yours all day, all night and forever (or until you get sick and cash her in for a younger model).

While getting us all hot and bothered, Lara likes to tease since she has yet to reveal her arrival time. We hope it isn’t too long, there is only so much a geek can take…

Sony UK

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