Napster Out-Sexes iTunes

Women, Don't Read This! No Way. Uh Un. Nope. Keep Out. Man Zone.

Napster is… …err… doing… err… something. Something which seems to involve ‘Frankie’, a striptease, and um… something. Apparently Napster is involved… and iTunes. Maybe it’s like one of those Seeing Eye posters where if you stare at it for long enough everything suddenly becomes clear. That’s my strategy anyway.

So I’m a few more viewings down the road and I can definitely say it involves Napster, pretty definitely. There is some kind of message too. ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ by Cream is playing over the top. Then it stops, and I start it again.


Things are becoming clearer now. iTunes is getting a diss-ing. Napster is letting users preview the whole track before purchase rather than the iPod software’s 30 second snippets. Frankie seems to be working for Apple which, in this case, is a very, very bad thing indeed. She needs to change employers. Fast. I don’t care if she gets a nice pension and free gym membership.

A little more information is filtering through. It’s almost subliminal. I’m fighting the frustrating onscreen text that overlays Frankie but somehow it is still going into my brain. 1.6m tracks, £9.95 per month, free seven day trial. Stop it cursed letters, out of my sight. I’m not even a blondes’ man, but… good thing it’s Friday afternoon.

I leave this twisted riddle and its visions straight from Pandora’s box to you my dear readers. Make sense of it what you can. Whoever said ‘Sex sells’, forgot ‘Sex distracts’ too. Just remember the ad’s core message: iTunes doesn’t… um? Napster does… err? Frankie is… ”Doh!”.


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