Faceparty Identifies ‘Sexual Predators’, Bans Over 36s

The most ludicrous policing policy yet?

Controversial and tragically try-too-hard social networking site Faceparty (yes, other the Face… named site you never heard of) has announced radical totalitarian measures it feels are necessary to make its service safer for younger members.

In one of the most extreme culls ever seen, Faceparty has announced it will be terminating carte blanche all accounts held by users over 36 years old for fear they may be sex offenders! In a public notice the site explained:

“New government legislation means we need to check older users on the sex offenders list. This legislation is based upon checking email addresses against a government provided list. Faceparty has never insisted on validated email addresses and can therefore not participate in this new scheme.

Having discussed the use of our website with the home office and the police, and further some pretty serious crimes caused by older users, we were left with no option but to terminate a huge amount of accounts, and without notice, immediately. We understand that only a minority of older users are sex offenders, but you must understand that we cannot tell which – we can only delete all to make the site safe and we apologise for that.”

Tackling allegations of ageism Faceparty also notes: “Laws for age discrimination apply ONLY to employment and education. There is no legal right for an older user to claim a right to this service.”

Lastly, in an attempt seemingly determined to alienate and offend everyone old enough to remember the BetaMax cassette Faceparty lectures: “It is not the legal right of a 70 year old to claim right to a young person’s service. Furthermore, it is not your right as a 50 year old to steal the bandwidth of our youth portal because you don’t want to pay for match.com.”

Funnily enough, back in 2004 Faceparty was accused of featuring pornographic images of underage girls. *Rubs chin* Anyone think ”’that”’ may have done more to endanger its users…?!

Faceparty Notice

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