In what is unquestionably one of the most nauseating acts of self-importance that TrustedReviews has ever seen, Apple has released a (very expensive) book celebrating 20 years of its own designs.
The book, aptly titled ‘Designed by Apple in California’, covers products from the iMac (1998) to the Apple Pencil (2015), with plenty of iPhones in between. There are 450 photographs of past and current Apple products included in total, as well as notes on the materials and techniques used by Apple’s design team.
Speaking about what is effectively a catalogue of his own doodles-made-real, Apple’s Chief Design Officer Jony Ive said: “
He continued: “We hope it brings some understanding to how and why they exist, while serving as a resource for students of all design disciplines.”
While Ive’s “gentle gathering” sounds great (read: totally sickening), the real kicker is the price: Apple’s book comes in two versions, with ‘Small’ starting at $199 and ‘Large’ pricing from $299. The small version is 10.20 x 12.75-inches, while its bigger brother is 13 x 16.15-inches.
Fortunately, the book comes with a flowery preamble from Ive himself, which may soften the $299 purchase you just transacted amidst the throes of Apple Store ecstasy. We hate spoilers at TrustedReviews, but if you’re feeling especially naughty, here’s an excerpt to mull over:
“While this is a design book, it is not about the design team, the creative process or product development. It is an objective representation of our work that, ironically, describes who we are. It describes how we work, our values, our preoccupations, and our goals. We have always hoped to be defined by what we do rather than by what we say.”
Ive added: “We strive, with varying degrees of success, to define objects that appear effortless. Objects that appear so simple, coherent and inevitable that there could be no rational alternative.”
If you’re desperate to get your hands on the ‘Designed by Apple in California’ book, which is a shoo-in for the ‘most lazily named object’ award, you can buy it from Wednesday, November 16, in the following countries online: UK, US, Australia, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, and Taiwan.
This article is called ‘Written by Sean Keach in London’. Accepting $299 donations via PayPal. There’s no rational alternative.
Related: iPhone 8
Watch: iPhone 7 Plus video review
Have you called in sick today so you can fondle the Apple book? Don’t tell us all about it in the comments below. Don’t tell anyone at all.