Patapon

Score

Sections

Key Features

  • Review Price: £19.99

”’Platform: PSP”’


“Pon-pon-pata-pon….chaka-chaka-pata-pon…” Last night I could hardly sleep for this sort of thing, running around and around in my poor tired bonce. This morning, over breakfast, the same thing: “Pata-pata-pata-pon…pon-pon-pata-pon…chaka-chaka-pata-pon.” It’s safe to say that Patapon has wormed its way into my skull, and I’m not too sure I’ll ever get it out.


It’s the beats, you see. A tribe of walking eyeballs known as the Patapons have taken me – through the magic of the PSP – as their Almighty. The poor chaps have had a rough time of it recently, what with life in a hostile wilderness, lack of good food and regular assaults from their heartless oppressors, the Zatagons, and they’re hoping I can get them out of it. To do so, I merely need to lead them through the power of rhythm. I kick off with two drums – Pata and Pon – activated by tapping the square and circle buttons on the PSP. “Pata-pata-pata-pon” has my little charges marching proudly forwards, while “pon-pon-pata-pon” tells them to attack. If I keep the beat steady and fit in perfectly between the Patapon’s shouted responses, I can build up combos. Build up enough, and my Patapons go into a fever, raining death down on anything in their path. Miss a beat, and I’m back to square one – and the Patapons start making narky comments behind my so-called almighty back.


Things start fairly easy. First we have to get the Patapons some food, so it’s out on a hunting trip where we can topple might mammoth-like critters and give the tribe some meat to fill their bellies. While we’re at it we can start gathering other resources and ‘ker-ching’ – the currency of the Patapon universe. Next, we’re going to take the fight back to the Zatagons, and while we’re at that we can find a few legendary heroes along the way. Find a new hero, and we can enlist new units to our cause, paying for them with meat, wood, rock and ker-ching at the local sacred tree. Before you know it I have spearmen, archers and axe-wielders all fighting on my team. The bad news is that I need them. Suddenly the Patapons are up against boss creatures much larger than themselves, with vicious special attacks to match. Luckily, the Patapons and I have got two new drums – Chaka and Don – and learnt a few new moves ourselves. What’s more, we’re beginning to get our numbers up and rising. Of course, I still have to be careful with my perambulating eyeball charges – when they die they turn into caps, and if I fail to collect these caps I can’t resurrect my beloved Patapons for their next mission. Plus, I don’t really like to see them die anyway.

More from TrustedReviews

HyperLoop One

Elon Musk’s Hyperloop gathering pace as NY-DC link gets ‘OK’

N64oid

Is this proof an N64 Classic will follow the SNES?

Agents of Mayhem preview

cats 17

Why you’ll want to download this OnePlus 5 update today

Golf rory

British Open Golf Live Stream: How to watch online for free

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare for Xbox One down to under £9

Samsung Gear S3 finally gets Samsung Pay support in UK

Welcome to the all new Trusted Reviews

Netgear Arlo

Netgear Arlo Pro

Cat Amazon

Are you kitten me? Pet translation devices tipped for future smart homes

fire emblem warriors

Fire Emblem Warriors

pokken

Pokkén Tournament DX

TP-Link Smart Wi-Fi LED Bulb 5

TP-Link Smart Wi-Fi LED Bulb

Samsung Pay

Samsung Pay now lets you use your PayPal funds at the checkout

assassins creed origins

Ubisoft teases new games for Nintendo Switch, coming ‘quite soon’

amazon echo

Ask Vodafone: Mobile network’s first Amazon Alexa voice skill is revealed

Google Feed

The Google app’s new personalised feed might just drag you off Facebook

z2play 9

Moto Z2 Play

Mira Prism

For just $99 you can bring AR to the iPhone 7

Samsung Galaxy S8

Samsung Galaxy S9 displays may be the same, save one major new feature

movie theatre

The Netflix Effect: ‘Binge-watching’ is coming to movie theatres

Porsche MIssion E

Porsche’s latest electric car chargers put Tesla to shame

EE logo

EE’s new 20GB SIM-free deal is the best value tariff you’ll see all summer

Int-Ball

These are the first images from the ISS – as captured by a zero-gravity drone

iMac 21.5-inch 4K (2017)

LG V30 case

LG V30 design ‘confirmed’ ahead of IFA 2017 launch

iPhone 7 vs iPhone SE

Waiting for the iPhone SE 2? Sadly, it could be a one-and-done

Google Glass Enterprise

Google Glass 2 has arrived, sort of

Denon AH-C621R

Denon AH-C621R

BBC Proms

Get ready to listen to the BBC Proms like never before

Fender Newport Monterey Bluetooth speakers

Fender’s new Bluetooth speakers look just like tiny guitar amps

Garmin Vivosmart 3

Garmin Vivosmart 3

airplane

Is the laptop travel ban dead? Electronics restrictions lifted by TSA but UK fails to follow suit

KitSound Immerse

KitSound Immerse Wireless Headphones

Emojis

It’s World Emoji Day and Apple is showing off all of its newcomers

Porn Block

Privacy fears as UK plans age verification for porn sites

WhatsApp

New WhatsApp feature could give Apple’s iMessage a run for its money

Essential Phone

Andy Rubin’s Essential phone coming to UK, likely as a network exclusive

Nokia 8

Is this the Nokia Android flagship we’ve been waiting a decade for?

game of thrones 9

Watch Game of Thrones Online For Free: Season 7, Episode 2 ‘Stormborn’ trailer revealed