Samsung’s Staedtler stylus is one tech throwback I wish I’d never seen

Just months after selling an exploding smartphone in the form of the Galaxy Note 7, Samsung has decided to plumb new depths of product depravity by launching an Apple Pencil rival – meet the nattily named Staedtler Noris Digital.

Yes, amidst the throes of mobile ecstasy at MWC 2017, Samsung announced a product more cruel and unusual than ever before: the Staedtler Noris Digital.

If you missed the news, here’s the skinny of it. The Noris Digital is an S-Pen stylus built by legendary stationery vendor Staedtler, made to look like its iconic pencil.

“What fresh hell is this?” I asked myself, as Samsung forced this unwanted trip down memory lane upon me.

No longer was I sat in a Barcelona conference centre; instead, I was transported to year nine maths class, bewildered and sweating profusely under the judging gaze of my teacher,
Mr You’re-getting-a-C

.

stylus

As Samsung thrust its GCSE-inspired stylus into my consciousness over and over again, I was reminded of long-suppressed classroom angst. There I sat, awkwardly carving almost certainly wrong answers onto yellowing A5 paper that I can only assume will be re-announced by Samsung as ‘e-paper’ in some future act of targeted sadism.

And as if their hearts weren’t already black enough, those devils decided to send me home with a Noris Digital of my own.

As I sat alone on my bed, gripping the Noris’ firm, unbending shaft, I was immediately transported back to my teenage years. Though marginally heavier than a classic Noris HB2, it retains the same cold, angular body; those overly familiar six sides, each of which is more sinister than the last.

stylus

This leadless, hate-inspired hexagon can  – like the S-Pen – detect up to 4,096 levels of pressure. That level of pressure will be familiar to any A-Level students opening the first page of their Further Maths exam paper. *sniffle*

On the bright side, it hasn’t exploded yet…

Related: Samsung Galaxy S8

Watch: Samsung Galaxy Note 8 – What we want to see

What do you think of the Staedtler Noris Digital for Samsung? Let us know in the comments.

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