Free Pornhub Premium is the Valentine’s Day gift the world sadly deserves

Pornhub is celebrating Valentine’s Day 2018 the best way it knows how – by offering free access to all of its premium content for the duration of the made-up holiday.

The popular smut portal has been pulling this stunt for a while now. Last year, it noted an uptick of over 300% in visitors to the site on the day, or roughly 3.5 million people – though the UK only managed a flaccid 138% spike.

Humanity isn’t totally doomed, however, as trending searches last Valentine’s Day weren’t all for bottom-of-the-barrel filth – a surge in terms such as ‘love’, ‘massage’ and ‘spa’ suggest a number of people thought the site could help it find a last-minute Groupon deal.

We’re currently tied to our corporate network, so checking out what’s on offer probably isn’t the best idea, but we can tell you that Pornhub Premium offers ad-free access to some 100,000 exclusive videos, a dedicated VR porn channel, and content in stunning 4K definition.

A moral lobotomy? That’s strictly optional.

It seems you do need to give some of your details away to take advantage of the deal, but the site says you don’t need to pass over your credit card deets, meaning there’s (theoretically) no danger of an unwanted, expensive auto-renew come tomorrow.

There’s not much more we can say, except that if you’re not currently staring at a shopping basket full of chocolate, Champagne and flowers, this is the obvious alternative – provided you’re 18 or older and live in an area where watching pornography doesn’t contravene any of your local laws.

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How are you spending Valentine’s Day this year? If it’s on Pornhub, feel free not to tweet us @TrustedReviews or anywhere else.