Free Pornhub Premium is back if you live in one of these impolitely named towns

Pornhub’s latest gag sees the popular smut portal giving residents of boorishly named towns free Pornhub Premium access and follows on from the site’s Valentine’s Day 2018 giveaway.

Unfortunate enough to live in Cummings, Georgia or Dildo, Canada?

First of all, stop burning down orphanages and start revering your chosen deity with a bit more enthusiasm.

Secondly, know that every cloud really does have a spunky silver lining, as you can now enjoy free Pornhub Premium in the universe’s latest attempt to rebalance itself.

People who live in bizarrely named locales as far and wide as Analândia, São Paulo and Fort Dick, California are the the beneficiaries of Pornhub’s latest publicity stunt and there’s even a dedicated new tool on the site where you can see if your personal humiliation has already qualified you.

Though the permanently falling property prices probably give you a good enough idea.

Note that the above link is NSFW, Starbucks, or anywhere else you might give a toss about what people think of you.

Pornhub Premium, for those of you with a moral compass, offers ad-free access to some 100,000 exclusive videos; a dedicated VR porn channel; and content in stunning 4K definition.

Alternatively, read on for more ways you might be able to one-day pleasure yourself away from us smelly plebs.

How can I get free Pornhub Premium?

If you live somewhere rudely named that hasn’t yet been recognised by the Pornhub Gods, the first thing you should do is tweet them using #PornhubPlaces, explaining why a lifetime of being mocked at dinner parties entitles you to free porn. Probably not from the company Twitter account, and probably not at all if your spouse is also on Twitter, but feel free to fire off a 280 character blank if that’s not the case.

The other option?

Wait.

Pornhub loves its PR stunts, most recently giving away free Pornhub Premium access on Valentine’s Day for those of us not lucky enough to be buying overpriced flowers for a loved one. (Even though singletons can still buy flowers for their Mum. That totally isn’t weird. Especially not at age 32. Trust us. Seriously. We’re Trusted Reviews.)

Humanity isn’t totally doomed, however, as trending searches on Valentine’s Day weren’t all for bottom-of-the-barrel filth – a surge in terms such as ‘love’, ‘massage’ and ‘spa’ suggest a number of people thought the site could help it find a last-minute Groupon deal.

Note that you should only attempt to access Pornhub if you are 18 or older, and live in an area where watching pornography doesn’t contravene any of your local laws.

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How are you spending Valentine’s Day this year? If it’s on Pornhub, feel free not to tweet us @TrustedReviews or anywhere else.