I feel mildly unclean even writing about this (perhaps that's the best part) but here we go...
Apple, yes Apple, is apparently locked in "serious negotiations" to buy micro blogging phenomenon Twitter for $700m. Quoting a "source who's plugged into the Valley's deal scene and has been recruited by Apple for a senior position" ValleyWag claims the duo want to unveil a deal by 8 June in time from WWDC 2009.
My response? What piffle!
Yes, this news is sweeping the Internet (and naturally Twitter) like swine flu and like this porky illness seems to have grown completely out of proportion. How is this madness? Let me count the ways:
- Apple has no ad model
- Apple is hardware and OS focused
- Apple doesn't do 'free'
- Twitter image is cute and bumbling
- Apple image is slick and expensive
- Twitter apps are already multitudinous on the iPhone and the best (TwitterFon) free
- Twitter has already stated it will not sell for under $1bn
Ultimately, this makes no sense whereas it would be a perfect fit with Google, its unobtrustive Adsense system and range of services. In fact, Facebook and even Microsoft and its stumbling Live programme make better bedroom buddies. Then again, daft, ill-fitting purchases aren't unheard of in this industry - after all eBay bought Skype for $3.1bn!
So all in all you could say I'd place Apple pretty low in the betting here. How low? In a list of potential Twitter suitors: somewhere between Dyson and Heinz.
Update: Now there is talk Apple will buy Electronic Arts. Oh dear.