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Face The Facts...

Author	Riyad Emeran
Published	19th Aug 2007

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To quote from Ed's column, he made an interesting point when he said "If I was being a bit of a cynic I might even suggest that a lot of social networking is actually just an opportunity for people to show off or give themselves an ego boost by showing how many friends they've got." Well I'm afraid I am a bit of a cynic, and I firmly believe that for many users of sites like Facebook, that's exactly what they're trying to get out of the situation.

For many users of Facebook, a significant number of their friends are people that they see every day – people they work with, or even people they live with. So it's a fair assessment that for many users, having a very long list of friends is something to be proud of, or show off about.

Likewise, for many, social networking sites like Facebook are a way of letting others no how successful they've been, or how big their house is, or what car they drive, or even how exotic their holiday was. It's almost like a constant high school reunion, without the dodgy disco and spiked punch. I wouldn't want to go to a school reunion, because I have no desire to see people that I didn't even like when I was 15, and since I still know the ones I do like, what would be the point? By that same rationale, I have no desire to go online to tell people who don't matter to me what I'm up to.

Finally, Facebook is just another example of how people can waste their lives in front of their computers when they could actually be doing something worthwhile. Why spend hours interacting with your "friends" on Facebook, when you could just hook up with your friends and do something together, in the real world?

But maybe that's the point that I'm missing. Maybe sites like Facebook aren't so much about staying friends with people you like, maybe they're about keeping up appearances. Perhaps Facebook acts as a shield, allowing its users to keep up a pretence of friendship without actually having to interact with anyone face to face, and thus admit that they don't actually like each other that much.

Ultimately, I'd rather admit to having a small circle of friends that actually matter to me, than a long list of acquaintances that don't. As with most things, it's quality and not quantity that really matters.

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Ohmz said on 21st July 2008

Riyad...You are absolutely correct about social networking. When I joined Facebook I was so excited! I found all my friends on there, even people that I grew up with and went to school with. I caught up with them, they were excited to hear from me, and me them. The world got smaller, but it wasn't a good thing.

I realized one night when I was talking to my best friend that I had her phone number and she had mine and that would be more personal. I mean Facebook for me became, like you described "a shield" from everyone and the real world. I asked myself one thing "Would all those former classmates, the ones that were so happy to hear from me after eight years, would they find the time to meet with me for lunch or an outing?" Of course not! A lot of them are married and have families. I'm more of a second class friend. Important enough to keep in touch with, but not important enough to, you know, actually talk to or see in real life!

Now they're not bad people per se. They just don't see it like that. As a "friend" described, "It's just Facebook!" But is it? How many wall posts or messages have I left that have gone unresponded? Or how many times have my supposed friends removed me for apparently no reason? Too many to count. It's just so easy to treat people like trash online, with the click of a mouse. Can't do that in the real world.

I decided to leave Facebook some time ago and put up a note explaining why, and you wouldn't believe the comments! I mean these people are two faced to put it nicely! The nasty, hurtful comments that have been left, and that people have sent me would be at home on a bathroom stall! Amazing! What happened to all those nice people, all those that thought it was so great to hear from me? Northing happened to them, their true colours exposed like a rainbow after the harsh downpour. Nice online for a while, but call Facebook and society for what it is, and all hell breaks loose.

I'll give you an example, I see girlfriends and boyfriends make dates on Facebook! Is that not incredible? You're girlfriend and boyfriend!!! Call each other like normal people! These sites are making life less social and making us more sterile to people.

Am I going to miss Facebook? No. I already am friends with everyone that matters, the rest are nothing to me, never were, never will be. There was a reason I didn't stay in touch with them in the first place. Thank you Facebook for giving me a valuable lesson in life. Now if you'll excuse me, the sun is out and I have to go see some people in the real world!

Riyad...You are absolutely correct about social networking. When I joined Facebook I was so excited! I found all my friends on there, even people that I grew up with and went to s... more

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